This is the most basic summary of both a handfasting and knot-tying ceremony. There are many variations of both, depending on the cultures they are used in. I suggest that, if you are interested about learning more about handfastings, you should pick up a few books and do some research. :) Sites on the web are okay but I'd trust information in books more than I would information I found online.
Many people have heard the term handfasting, though there is a lot of misconceptions about it and if a person doesn't have at least a small amount of understanding about it, people can be a bit leary about attending one. One of my uncles had asked me a few years ago, when I tried to explain the difference between a pagan handfasting and a Christian wedding (from an anthropological point of view), if pagan's slaughtered goats during the ceremony. Unfortunately, this isn't an uncommon misconception. So, I'll explain what a handfasting is and then give you my take on the difference between a handfasting ceremony and a knot-tying ceremony.
First and foremost, the thing that is important to know about handfasting is that there are two types. The first type is a legal marriage ceremony. While it is all pagan/wiccan in nature (invoking the gods, goddesses, elements, etc.) it is still a legal union. The officiant must say "by the power invested in me (by the state of______), I now pronounce you husband and wife," in order for the union to be legal. The second type of handfasting is not legal. It is a ritual performed out of the desire to be spiritually bonded together but not necessarily legally. Often times, the second type of handfasting lasts for a year and a day, after which time, the couple may choose to legally become married (#1), symbolically married spiritually (#2), or part ways with handparting ceremony. To many people, the second form of handfasting is seen as a trial run. To me, it's a logical course and a good idea for a lot of people - especially those people who tend to rush into marriage without thinking everything through. The "year and a day" allows for that to happen, while the couple still is seen as "married" among their peers. Handfastings are often performed with one long cord which is wrapped and knotted around the couples joined (often left) hands. Some cultures require the bride and groom to be joined with their cord for the entire wedding after the ceremony. Handfasting is a very old custom and is actually where the term "tying the knot" comes from.
A knot-tying ceremony is non-religious. Commonly, it consists of tying the hands with more than one cord. Each cord represents a vow. As the officiant asks the bride and groom a question (ex: [groom's name] will you cause your bride anger?) the bride or groom answers, and if the answer is "it's highly likely, but not on purpose" (basically,) the officiant lays the cord over the joined hands. After that section of the ceremony is concluded, after all of the vows have been stated and the cords have been laid on the couples' hands, the officiant arranges the cords in a way that, when the bride and groom pull their hands out from the cords, they form a knot. It's no more religious than pouring sand though of course they can be incorporated into religious ceremonies.
I've posted pictures and tips on how to make your own handfasting/knot-tying ceremony cords in the DIY section. I will be making more for other people and plan on selling them so, if you're interested, drop me a line and we'll talk. I can custom make them specifically to your requirements - colors, symbols, bead type, etc. The ones in the pictures, however, are not for sale since they are ours.
Personal Information: I was raised Catholic when I was a child but at around 12, I decided that I wasn't happy with that form of religion. So I set out to find something that felt right. I used to be pagan but I'm not anymore. I'm still magically inclined and believe in the unity of the universe - the Universal Soul - and in nature and the natural order of the spirit. The knot-tying ceremony held enough of that wondrous feeling that I prefer when I participate in a ceremony/event. I wouldn't perform the lighting of a unity candle (because for me it is symbolic of a Catholic wedding ceremony and doing anything associated to Christianity makes me feel uncomfortable,) and sand makes a mess and can be spilled easily. I'm a klutz, what can I say. So, the knot-tying ceremony is the most attractive to me.
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